My mom and I were in my room, she was laying out all my clothes. I was getting ready so slowly because I was trying to buy myself as much time as possible. My mom sort of realized what I was doing so she was like, “Date rapido que vas a estar tarde,”
That’s when I told her, “Mami no quiero ir.”
Then she hit me with the “Mira mucha.”
But I knew that wasn’t what she was saying with those two little words. So I got ready and ate my breakfast. I was ready to cry but I knew what would happen if I did.
I was 5 years old and in a new country and didn’t know the language. I’m so scared to go to school especially without having my mom there, I thought to myself. She was always there for me and this was one of the scariest moments for me and my mom wasn’t going to be there. Especially since It was the first day of school and it was all ok until… I walked into the classroom and everything had suddenly changed for me.
I end up having a tantrum because when I walked in I then realized that my mom was going to end up leaving so it changed things for me. How could my mom do this to me. Why would she leave me behind? So many things were going through my head because if I knew English and could defend myself then I would be alright. But I didn’t know what to do. A little while after she called Ms. Klemans the security guard. Ms.Klemans came and she took me with her and I thought I was in trouble because mind you, I didn’t know anything about school here so I thought I was going to get punished because in D.R they did that if we did something bad we would get hit by rulers…but she ended up sitting me down and talking to me.
She said, “There is no need to be scared I am here so don’t worry. If anything you know where I am.” I sort of understood her so we sat for a while and she asked me, “Are you ready to go to class?”
I was ready to go to class so I said, “Yes.”
My problem was only when my mom left because I didn’t like being apart from my mom. I walked back into the class and we are having a break. My teacher knew zero Spanish. I was screwed but Jayden E and Jayden S and some of my other friends at the time helped me communicate with her. I was so mad though at the time and she ended up seeing I wasn’t doing my work so Jayden tried to help by trying to get me to do my work. I wasn’t doing my work because I was mad, my face was red and furious. I was so mad I ended up cursing at her. But she didn’t know that! But just because my teacher didn’t hear or understand doesn’t mean my moms didn’t.
Nah so I was chilling excited and couldn’t stop thinking about going home. Since you know we were supposed to go to the aquarium. So, you know I was hyped that I was leaving this terrible place. But little did I know what was gonna happen when I got home.
In my head, I thought we were just gonna go out. I had no idea what was about to go down. I didn’t know my mom had told anybody about the tantrum but she told my grandpa and that when I got home and I didn’t even get to change and I was put in my room kneeling down. I stood there for like 2 hours or more. The only time I got up was to eat. In my family, if you disrespect someone older than you know matter who they are you will get consequences and they knew I wouldn’t get up so the door was closed. I wouldn’t dare disobey because I knew my grandpa. I have heard stories.
My mom ended up coming back and she had a talk with me. She said, “Los niños no se portan mal porque dios los castiga.”
And I told her, “Lo se pero tenia mucho miedo.”
She told me, “Lo entiendo pero eso no justifica lo que hicisteis. Le vas a pedir perdón a la maestra entiendes.”
I don’t know what for if she didn’t understand but I did it anyway because I knew it would make my mom feel better. I said, “Ok esta bien mami.”
The next day I felt way better, I didn’t want to be shy anymore and people still wanted to be my friends after everything. I was happy I didn’t have to worry about being different anymore. They liked me for me. And my mom was proud of me for getting over my fears and she said I was growing up to be an independent young lady. And she couldn’t wait to see how great I would turn out. My kindergarten experience made me who I am today so I am so grateful for that. I’m not afraid to be myself.